West Side Church of Christ - Elkton Ky

In this episode, I pretend to be the apostle Thomas preaching one year after the resurrection of Jesus.

Watch the video version here: https://youtu.be/yujK2-wkO_8

Transcript:
 Shalom. Shalom, brothers and sisters, grace and Peace to each and every one of you.

If you don't know my, my name is Thomas and I don't bring this up to. To build myself up in any way, but I was blessed to be one of the 12 that got to walk with our Lord.

Today is an encouraging day. It's the Lord's day, and we get to worship the true and living God of of heaven. We know him and we love him, and I believe the house is a little fuller today than it normally is, but.

I don't want you this morning to, to look at me and build me up because I was one of our Lord's apostles. I'm not perfect. I never will be, but it's hard for me to remember sometimes that some of you, even just a short while ago that it was that, that you didn't get to walk with her. Lord. Yes. You didn't get to see him, you didn't get to hear him with your own ears.

So today, I, I stand not before you as someone who better than you or someone who has something internally inside of me that's better than you, that you can't ever arise to. I simply stand before you today because I want you to be able to see our Lord and Savior with your, the eyes of your heart, and I want you to be able to hear him.

With the ears of your mind, I want you to be able to experience him like we were blessed to be able to experience him. You know, some people, some people make fun of me. They wanna call me Doubting Thomas, and I don't really think that name fits. But when our Lord died on that cross, it shook me to the core, just like it did all the apostles.

And I'm not proud of those days, but I hope that what you can get from our time together today is that even, even in the darkest place that you are, even with the biggest doubts that you may have, you can still search out the truth. He was a dark tie. My heart was broken, but I still sought for the truth.

I don't know. I guess my mind has always just worked that way. I needed to know all the details I needed to understand. Maybe you can understand my desire to understand. But before we get too far towards the end of the story, I guess I need to back up just a little bit and talk to you about. Kind of the beginning of my walk with Jesus.

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was an early, early in the morning and, and several disciples, me and several others had been following him for a long time. Usually in those days, you would get up and you'd rummage around and try to get everything ready for the day and, and then at some point we would take off.

We'd go here or there, or listen to him teach. But this morning was different. This morning as I lay asleep, I was awakened by a commotion, and as I opened my eyes and I could still barely see, I, I behold Jesus. And I didn't, I didn't know what was going on, but I could tell that he had been through something.

His appearance was kind of disheveled. You could tell by his clothes that he hadn't been to bed, he had not slept, and he was still in the same clothes from the day before. We didn't know it at the time, but he had went up on that mountain that night and he had prayed all night. He prayed all night because he was about to appoint his 12 apostles.

And there was a great number of us disciples there, but lo and behold, he picked me and 11 others to be his closest apostles to follow him. And I, I can tell you, nobody was more shocked than I was. I mean, I guess if I was picking apostles, I, I wouldn't have even picked us. But you see, Jesus always had that ability.

He always could see beyond what other people could see. He could see inside to hearts and potentials. So I didn't argue when he asked me, will you follow me? Yes, yes, I will. And for the next couple years we did our very best to just soak it up to hang on every word to. To take in every lesson that he taught us.

And I would love to tell you that we were perfect students, but we weren't. I'll never forget the day we were walking up the road, and I don't know how the conversation got started, but somehow or another the conversation landed on who was gonna be the greatest apostle in the kingdom. I didn't say too awful much, but.

I'll admit to you, I wanted to have, I wanted to rank above the rest of them. And I'll never forget that afternoon, that evening when we, when we got to where we were going, Jesus looked at us and said, what were y'all talking about going up the road? My heart sank like a little child. It'd been caught doing something wrong.

But even with all our failings, even with all our failings and all our mess ups. He still loved us. He still encouraged us. He still poured into us, I think back on so many times that he could have been frustrated and just throw his hands up and say, you know what, I'm done.

But he didn't do that to me. He didn't do it to any of us, and I'm thankful because that's the kind of God that we have. That's the kind of God that we serve now, I think back to all the years and all the stories, and I could probably sit here all day and tell you one after another after another, but I don't want to keep us here all day.

So you think about as we get close to that final Passover, things really become intense and chaotic. I.

You know, we were in the temple one day and he began to teach and they literally, they literally took up stones and tried to stone Jesus. And we, we basically run out of town for our lives, dragging Jesus with us, trying to keep him from, from getting killed. And we were outside the city for a while, but then one day the news came that Lazarus was sick, sick unto death.

And we all figured that, that Jesus was going to take out right then and, and go heal him. We figured that's what he was gonna do, but we didn't wanna go back to Jerusalem. We, we were afraid that, that we die if we went back. But Jesus did the most confusing thing instead of just loading up right then and saying, guys, pack your bags.

Let's go. He sat and he waited and he waited. We kept kind of whispering and murmuring among ourselves, or we're not gonna go and help Lazarus, Lazarus. And Mary. And Martha. Their home was just a couple miles from Jerusalem, and they so many times had opened their doors to us so many times they had refreshed us and helped us in any way that they could, and we're just sitting here not doing anything.

And then the news came that Lazarus had died.

And at the time that we thought that we would now just move on and do something else, Jesus shocked us all. He said, we must go back to Judea. We must go to Lazarus house. And we are like, wait a minute. We don't understand. Not to mention that we're scared for our lives. But he's talking about that Lazars only sleeping and, and he's the, the resurrection.

And we just, we didn't get it. But as he pushed us on, we're gonna go back. I, we don't, I don't care what the threat is. Then in one of my few moments where I just kind of blurted something out, I, I couldn't help it. I. I thought if Jesus is willing to go back and to face Jerusalem and possibly death then, then I said, well, why don't we just go with him and, and that way we all can die.

Now, I admit that when I thought it in my head, it sounded better than what come outta my mouth. But my, my thought was, is it wasn't fair for Jesus to go alone and us not be willing to go with it. Him,

but of course as so often it was during those days that our idea, our thought of what was about to happen next was wrong. We went back to marry Martha's house and we found them weeping and our Lord asks, show, show me where you laid him. And I'll never, I'll never forget the way he cried with him, the way he sounded, the way the pain poured out of his heart.

He loved him so very much, and you could feel it, you could cut it, cut it in the air with a knife. But then once again, he did something that shocked us all. He asked several of us to roll the stone away, and I'll admit to you, I didn't wanna roll the stone away because on the other side of the stone, before I even walked up close to it, I could smell the smell and it was rancid.

But we went and we did it near nearly gagged the salt of death. But as we stood there, reeling, trying to catch our breath, Jesus did something that I've never seen before. Jesus looked into that empty or that that tomb that we thought was empty and devoid of life, and he said, Lazarus, come forth. And we're all standing there kinda like.

We didn't understand, and in just a moment we began to hear a rustle. What, what an outcome this guy kind of bound up in, in the grave close, and it was Lazarus. He had brought Lazarus back from the dead. Literally had been dead so long that we couldn't hardly stand the stench to stand beside the grave vignette here.

He was standing before us alive and well,

I remember standing there thinking, what is impossible for this man?

It was a moment that that changed our hearts. But it's also a moment that changed everything around us for when words began to spread about Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead, the desire to kill him rose and rows and rows.

We knew we knew that something was coming. You could feel it. I mean, we would later on come into the city, Jesus, riding on back of a donkey and, and the town is going wild. Hosanna, Hosanna, hosanna,

and I admit it, it was pretty cool to go in there like we were, like we were the best thing that had ever walked, but I also could feel that something wasn't right. There was a tension there as adamant as some people were, that he was the Messiah and that he was the Christ. Others were just as much convinced that he was not and they wanted to kill him.

But we went through that week

and we come up to, we come up to Friday night. The Passover night, I'm sure many of you have heard the story about how Jesus sent them out and, and just so happened to find the perfect room furnished and fixed and ready. He always, he always knew just where to find what it was that he needed.

But on this night, as we assembled in that upper room for this final Passover.

We didn't have any idea how much, we didn't know how much we were not ready for what was about to happen. We thought we were there to take the Passover, but really what Jesus was there to do was to take and link the Passover to the communion. The communion that we all overtook of just a moment ago, the communion that he told us to do in remembrance of me.

But not only was he there to link the Passover to the communion, he was also there to try to help us, even though we didn't understand at the time. You see, when we got to the house. We had been, been walking for a long time and our feet were all filthy, and we kept expecting a servant to come in and, and do that.

That's usually what happens in somebody's house, right? You come in for the meal and somebody will wash your feet because, 'cause they're always dirty. But on this night when Jesus arrived, he washed our feet.

It was one of the most awkward things I'd ever seen in my life. But at the same time, it was also one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen in my life. He told us, I, I'm doing this, to give you an example, he washed my feet and he washed Peter's feet in John's feet and, and even Judas feet because he wanted us to, to do the things that he did,

but. After that, he began to be troubled and he'd say, one of you is going to, one of you is gonna betray me. And we all were in a frenzy. We didn't know who it was. I mean, we didn't wanna betray him, but what if it was me?

But then he told us, let not your heart be trouble in my father's house or many mansions. I'm going to go. And prepare a place for you and, and if I leave and go and prepare a place for you, then I'll come back and return to you. And, and I remember sitting there and just thinking, what is he talking about?

I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna go prepare a place for you and come back.

So in that moment, I couldn't just nod my head and say, yeah, okay, I don't understand, but I'm gonna act like I do. And I asked the question, I wasn't trying to challenge him. I wasn't doubting him. I just, I didn't understand. I needed to understand, Lord, we don't know where you're going, so how will we know the way?

And in that moment, he said to me some of the most profound words I've ever heard in my life. Words that have never left my heart since. He looked me right in the eyes and without any anger or ballas, but with the sincerest love in his eyes. He looked at me and he said, I'm the way, I'm the truth, and I'm the life.

And I didn't understand it. I was thinking in terms of physical places. I was thinking in terms of directions. But what he was trying to show me was that he was the roadmap. He was the one that was gonna lead us to where we needed to go. We continued on for a little while longer, but eventually when the Passover was finished, we would go out and we'd go across the book, the Brook Kedron and.

He would take Peter, James and John with him when we got to that, that olive grove, that garden at Gethsemane, and he told us to stay on the outside and they went inside. I don't know what they did. Maybe, maybe he taught 'em something a little more extra 'cause they didn't get it. Or maybe they prayed together, I don't know.

But we stayed there most of the night, but it didn't seem but like minutes and then it happened. We could see the torches coming and the soldiers, they were armed way more than anybody should be armed to come and get one man.

And as we see them coming, we look and Judas is with them.

How could he do this? How could he betray our Lord? We wanted to, we wanted to attack every one of them. I just kind of gritted my teeth and, and stared at Judas. Peter pulled a sword out and, and cut off Malus ear.

And Jesus stopped him and stopped. All of us told him to put his sword up. It was the last miracle that he did. He took that ear, put it right back on Malus like it had never happened.

In that moment.

The man who said, let us go, that we may die with him.

In that moment, we all became scared, and when they began to arrest him, we all ran.

We ran for our lives.

I'm not proud of it.

I hate the fact that I left my Lord, but I was scared. My logical mind thought if they can arrest him and take him and, and maybe even crucify him, what are they gonna do to us? I heard later on that Peter went and stood outside the fire to see what would become of him. But I, I didn't do that. I hid in the darkness of my shame.

And my guilt

all night. I wept. I bawled my fist up and hit the walls.

I didn't know what was gonna happen, but as daybreak, I began to get back out in the city and kind of walk around the back streets and try to just blend in and not stand out. And. And I heard that they were delivering him to Pilate.

My heart was breaking the faith that I'd had for three years. The faith that I felt like was so strong and so, so ready to go with him, even to death was now in shambles on the floor.

A few hours later, I heard, I heard the commotion. They were leaving the town. I could hear the cursing in the, and the jurying at him and I, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

I could see the top of that cross.

I could see the top of that cross go going through the middle of that crowd. At one point it even fell down and it come back up

and said, let him outside the city,

and there they killed him.

John was there at the for the Cross with Mary

and his heart wrenching and, and gut wrenching as it was outside the city to know what was going on out there. To our Lord. I can't imagine what they went through right at the foot of the cross, seeing it firsthand.

I don't think I slept for three days. That was the darkest period of my life. How could this be? How could a God allow this to happen? How could Jesus allow this to happen? So many times he slipped through the crowd so many times. He evaded so many times, but yet not this. Time. Why? Why did you have to die?

I remember that third day

I would tell you that I woke up, but I don't know that I ever went to sleep. I heard Mary and the others wrestling around to go out to the, to the tomb to finish the burial. Job. They, they didn't have a lot of time to take him down. Joseph Arimathea, Nicodemus come and, and we had to get him in the tomb before, before the sunset, before the Passover started.

But when they went to go out to the grave, I didn't care. I didn't care about anything.

I just sat there. Another day, numb. Broken

is a few hours later. A few hours later, they burst through the door and chaos began to happen. He's alive. He's alive. He's alive. Wait a minute, what do you mean? He's alive? We saw them crucify him with our own eyes. He can't be alive, man. I'm thinking, in my mind, dead is dead. I mean, I know he raised Lazarus from the dead, but who's gonna raise him from the dead?

Jesus is the one who raised Lazarus from dead, so he's dead. He can't raise himself. It didn't make any sense, but the more the day went on, the more they kept saying. He's alive. He's alive.

That night, they gathered together because it was the first day of the week,

and I,

I tell you, I wasn't there.

People have asked me before it, Thomas, why didn't you go? I probably missed the biggest blessing of my life that night because they locked themselves in the, in the upper room and, and all of a sudden Jesus just appeared to them. But I wasn't there.

I am gonna tell you, I don't know why I didn't go, but what I do know is, is I was hurt. I was kinda like a wounded animal, and I did the worst thing that you can do when you're hurt. I isolated myself.

I guess I knew better, but my heart just couldn't take it. I don't think I could take being let down again. What if everybody was wrong? What if they were just hallucinating? What if it was just a rumor? I don't think I could stand to be hurt again.

So in the process of trying not to be hurt, I just hurt myself.

That night, the Lord appeared to them and I wasn't there. The next morning they found me and they're like, Thomas, Thomas. Thomas, Thomas.

I still didn't wanna believe them. I mean, I wanted to believe them, but I didn't want to believe them. Like I say, my heart was hurting, it was aching, and all the next week as I'm basically moping around and throwing myself a pity party. People keep coming to me and saying, Thomas, we've seen Jesus. Thomas.

He did this. Thomas, he did this.

And out of anger, out of anger, I said the words that perhaps I'm more remembered for than anything else. I just couldn't take it anymore. I finally told 'em all, listen, unless I can put my fans, my fingers and my hands on those wounds, unless I can touch his side, I'm not going to believe. Leave me alone.

I'll believe it when I see it for myself.

I know it was wrong when I said it.

I am not proud of it.

I think I was fighting with myself more than I was fighting with all them,

but even, even in my snapping at them,

they didn't shun me.

The week after Jesus raised from the dead, it was the Lord's day again, and I. I assembled with 'em,

I could see, I could see in their eyes, I could see in their lives that what they, what they were saying to me about Jesus being alive was true. They believed it with every core and every fiber there being.

And I was beginning to be convinced, but. I felt like I kind of had to keep up the act on the outside. So I was still, even though I gathered with him again on that, the next Lord's day and the doors were locked. I was, I was there, but I was, I was distant. Peter was talking, something about that happened one time when he was on the boat when all of a sudden it happened.

The doors were locked. They were locked from the inside themselves. I, I watched them lock them, and yet all of a sudden he appeared.

He appeared right here in front of me this moment that I didn't think I was ever going to get to, that I wanted to get to, but I was afraid that I would never come to see when my own eyes is happening right here in front of me. Jesus. And as he looks around the room,

he locks eyes on me

and it's like everybody, everything else just melted away.

He held out his hands. I, to me, he knew what I'd said. He knew how I'd snapped at him and said, I wasn't going to believe unless I saw the evidence. And here he was. Even though, even though I had been so cold and so distant here, he was reaching out to me.

Thomas, do not do not. Believe do not. Unie Thomas, he pulled his robot aside and there was the wound in his side. Come put your hand right here. I tried to reach my hand down, but it was trembling so bad. I, I didn't know if I should touch him or not. Truth be told, I didn't have to touch him. He was right here in front of my eyes.

It was real. All that, all that worry, all that doubt, all that heartache, everything that I thought was destroyed in an instant wasn't destroyed. It was just as he had said it, in that moment, everything he had said to me, crystallized. I had asked him in that upper room, we don't know where you're going. How can we know the way?

And he said, I am. The way he was, the way his life was to be the moral guide for us. It was like he was the map. I am the truth. Not only was he the map, the map is correct and I'm the life. It's the correct map that will, what will lead you to eternal life. In that moment, I got it. Like I had never gotten it before.

I've never been the same since.

Thomas, you believe because you've seen me, but, but blessed are those who will believe on me, yet that they have not seen me. I've been blessed to see our Lord, but many of you in this room today have not. You were not a lesser because you've not seen our Lord. In fact, you are blessed. You're blessed.

You're not maybe as hardheaded as I am because you didn't have to see the prince in his hands. You didn't have to see the wound in his side. You simply hear his words and you believe him.

Blessed are each and every one of you that believe.

Like I say, I don't stand before you as a perfect man.

I was blessed to be called as one of the 12. We've been changed because we walked with him, because we saw him, because we heard his teachings. But the truth is that each and every one of you can have the same transformation, if not more. Than I did.

I was scared to believe. Fear kept me away. That first Lord's day, I, and maybe there's some of you here today who are afraid. You're afraid to hope in God, you're afraid to, to trust him. You're afraid to. To truly let him in. You're afraid to let others know when you're hurting. When you're struggling.

I hope you can look at me and like I say, I put me on some pedestal. I,

I hope you look at me as an example of how bad. You can struggle, how much you can hurt, and how much our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will still love you, will still reach out for you.

He is the son of God. He died upon that cross for me and for you. And on this day I'm not gonna tell you anything you don't already know, but he is risen from the dead. He's risen from the dead so that you don't have to be alone. He's risen from the dead so that you don't have to feel the way that I felt those three days.

He's risen from the dead, so you don't have to feel the way I felt that week when I was jealous of everybody else. I wanted to be mad at the end, but really. I was mad at myself.

If I can do it, I want you to know any of you can do it. Our Lord has called us to a great work. We've been all around Jerusalem and the Jewish people and the Romans are trying to stop us, but they can never stop us

because the Lord still adds to us daily those people who are being saved.

And he has no plans of stopping.

I hope that, I hope that in the days to come and the weeks to come and even your life to come, that Jesus will impact you and change your life the way that he's changed mine. Shalom.